Epiphany -not just the church i am getting married in

Today i had a bit of an Epiphany! More like 4 or 5 Epiphanies! First of all is i am so proud of myself and all my accomplishments in life (she says humbly)! Not only have a graduated college with two degrees in less time than most people graduate with one, i have done so with minimal debt (enough for me and my parents to be stressed out but not enough to damage the rest of my life). I have never faltered from school all the while overcoming SEVERE physical obstacles. This never stopped me and i never stopped school. Now my Epiphany moment today was when i realized that although this is standard for my family, not everyone can say this and in fact many people can't even dream about this. i have drive and dreams, i have goals and ambitions, and most of all i have an education that can never be taken away from me. I will some day be able to look at my children and say i hope they get to feel like this, becuase there is no greater feeling than knowing i have a safety net, an education, to fall back on and i have something that no force of life can take from me.

Today i also realized that although i have made mistakes in my life, i have only made mistakes that i can grow and learn from. (and here's the word of thanks to my parents for letting me make mistakes, but teaching me to not make the wrong ones) I am not gonna lie, i have done stupid stuff. I have rebelled, i have had to much ot drink,  i had bad relationships, i dated all the wrong guys, i failed a class, i slept through a final, i lost friends, i made some bad friends, i lost my religion (and thankfully found it again), i fell off a curb, i blew my money.... but i never lost sight of who i was or who i wanted to be. i kept true to myself and this is again something that not everyone can say. i learned a lot of lessons, and i have so many more to learn, but every single experience i have had to this day, good and bad, i do not regret and i would never take them back if given the chance. they have made me who i am and i am very happy with who i am.

next, i had the biggest Epiphany of the day (yeah busy day for my brain right?) and that is that no matter what happens in my life i will never be alone! I know my family is always there for me, but even more than that i know that i will have Kel. Through good, bad, sickness, health, and every obscure ailment in between he will be by my side. i never in a million years would have seen myself as the corny head over heals in love person, but i am. everyday i wake up excited to see kel. i have never gone to bed angry with him. since we started dating i have never doubted what we have. We started dating and it was quickly that we fell for each other. this used to scare me. i am not a believer, i know that love takes time, effort and more self control that i thought i had. however, i am a believer that love is possible. Without each other it is impossible (even for my over active imagination) to see where we would have been as individuals.Every day i love him more than the first day, and every day i am more and more certain that spending the rest of my life with him will be the easiest choice i ever make. There have been so many signs from God and blessings that October 22nd, 2011 is meant to be that i just take relief in how much God has had a hand in my life, and how i finally learned to let Him put His hand in and change my life. I am so happy that Kel and I are starting our lives together in less than 6 months. After that we will be starting a family, raising our family and and watching it grow! These next six months are going to be long and stressful. They already are getting more and more loaded by the day, but it is all worth it at the end when i will get to go home with my husband and we can say that out life together started with faith, hope, and the greatest of all LOVE!

Oh and special props to my awesome husband-to-be for going through RCIA, recieving confirmation and Holy Eucharist and becoming a part of the catholic church. Definately my best Easter ever and a feeling of joy i will never forget!

"Is this real life?"

i cannot even describe how crazy the past week has been, but it's slowing down and i can now enjoy things.

Kel and i are settled. We have very little moved in, and a ton more to move in to, but we are calling it home, we have mapped our routine and getting places to and form the townhouse, and  we feel comfortable and at home there. To me, that is all i need to be settled.

Also i got to try on my wedding dress. It was AMAZING! the dress i gorgeous and i just couldn't believe it was mine the whole time i wore it. The best part was it was too big! this is exciting becuase i haven't gone out of my way to loose weight, but i have and now i am actually motivated! yay! The bridesmaids dresses were also so adorable and they were so flattering on everyone. I am excited!

Next i got to spend 1 on 1 time with my sister and Brother in law and niece. this is what i needed. before i was feeling a lot of emotions because of the sudden change and i didn't know how my family fit anymore, however after time with Baby Anna i know now that i am a part of her life, and although my family has changed, we are all the same people.

Next is my Best Friend's Wedding! my best friend since freshman year of high school if getting married and i things have finally kicked into gear for that. i am planning a shower and Bachlorette party and i am really excited, however behind and need get started on this!

Finally, school. i have all my major papers done except for one. This one is huge and i finally get to focus on this. once this is done (next Friday to be exact) i get to relax and focus on setting up the internship this summer and getting started on my summer schedule.

thanks to everyone who has helped Kel and I in the past week and who have donated stuff to the Empty Townhouse Cause! we greatly appreciate it all and it feels so good to know that i will be staying in town close to all this love and support!

Tomorrow Kel and i have 3 different appointments for the wedding, so expect a wedding details blog post soon! super pumped!

We can now say we have started from nothing.

We haev the townhouse! it's adorable! we get the keys later today. i am so excited! this was completely unexpected and i really did not wake up monday morning thinking this would happen. upfortunately it means that all my school work and wedding things all got put on back burners. Now i have to move and keep up with all of that. honestly i really need this month over so i can just relax! (by relax i mean work 40-50 hours a week and NOT have homework.)

Anyway since i dont have any time i will higlight the townhouse's awesomness:

2 bedrooms (good sized too, not dinky things that only fit a bed and the dresses has to be put in a closet)
1 bath and 2 1/2 baths (one on each level)
a finished basement (mancave as kel calls it)
a deck and a very small yard
garage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and snow removal, etc!
a nice large living room (large by townhouse standards)
new carpet
disposal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brand new dishwasher!
his and her sinks and closets
and the best part is IT"S ALL MINE (i mean OURS)!

So pumped, pictures up soon!

Frustration!

ok, so life, as i have stated in almost every post, life is crazy! school, wedding, friends wedding, it's all so much! Recently Kel and i have been apartment shopping on top of that. I want Kel to move in this summer, we want a six month lease, and six month is perfect for me getting a job in my appropriate time frame, yet enough to sign another six month lease if things dont go as planned. I am honestly very sick of seeing houses, apartments, town houses, and duplexes. I am sick of crunching numbers, thinking of move in dates, changing my mind, spelling nasty old places, and awkward situations with Kel and the realtor.

The biggest problem is that i have standards. I know what i want, i know what it costs, and i know it's out there somewhere! Then out of knowhere, we found it! It's a perfect townhouse, quiet neighbors, garage, two bedrooms, space, a basement, disposal, the works! the landlord is a very nice lady, has a kid in college, and is down to earth. Brand New appliances, small backyard, dog friendly (not sure if that's a pro or con yet) and VERY reasonable and manageable rent. We even got the landlord to drop the price by $200 to fit our budget.

The only problem is that she wants to rent ASAP and can only hold it for us for a small fee for 2 weeks. We were ready to move in around July so that we could save money for the down payment and the first couple months rent. We would have to take out a loan to rent out in June, but for this place it would be worth it! GAH GAH GAH!

So do i wait it out and see if this place stays available until we are ready (very strong chance it will not), or do i take out a loan from where ever, save half as less money this summer, but have the townhouse of my dreams when Kel and i start our lives? such dilemas.