Unlike my back, life's adjustments take more than a trip to the chiropracter!

So much has happened in such a short period of time that it has been ridiculous, and impossible for me to cope with. I have had more ups and downs in the past week with life than the precious 3 month before (and that's quit a lot)! Every aspect of my life has shifted completely, and for so many different things to happen at ounce, no matter how good they are, it take time to adjust. With that said, here's what's been going on. People need to understand that i do not handle change well, good or bad. i need time to adjust, and until then i tend to freak out.

1st in my life is the dramatic shift in my school atmosphere. This is not he most important thing in my life, but it is the thing that is #1 on my priority list right now above all else, and it is the #1 thing that i spend most of my time with. Since there is one month (5 weeks total, 5 tests, 1 major class event, and 3 major papers) left all the teachers and seniors are in "end zone" mode. we are wrapping up our classes, seniors are freaking out or rejoicing about jobs/internships, and we can talk of nothing else except the few obstacles that stand in our way to graduation and freedom! i am excited, however nervous. my school friends are the greatest amount of stress release in my life. they see a whole different me than what work and family see. i get to share every life event with them. however awesome this is they are all moving all over creating and for the next 6 months nobody knows where they will be settled as we all adjust into real life. this emotional capacity plus the mental form of "Oh crap what if I'm not ready" and the physical aspect of getting my work done is overwhelming. that alone is enough to ruffle my feathers, and it's only one part of my life.

next is my wedding. this is more just anxiety than anything. Kel and i have done so much prep work this week. I get to pick up my dress next Saturday. the bridesmaids dresses are in. We picked flowers, have more meetings with priests and the venues set up, are working on catering for the rehearsal dinner, fine tuning peoples addresses, budgeting (constantly)! working through day of preps, planning times for couples retreats. finalizing honeymoon details. talking tuxes, colors, styles, prices, and place to get them. figuring out music for ceremony and music list for the reception. we register in a couple week. we are looking for places to live, both of us are job hunting and researching areas in the US to live. we are planning family and NFP classes (whole different blog for a different time). This is just the big details. we aren't even on the gift, goody bags, and showers yet! I'm exhausted reading it. I know Kel has been on a kick to keep my distracted from all my nerves of school and other emotional baggage, but he's doing so well i am overwhelmed! however, we are 6 months out, so for the next six months my perfect wedding will unfold! I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL OCT 22nd. from that day on i get to come home everyday to my amazing husband, i can settle down somewhere with kel, and we get to start our married journey! the wedding will be an awesome day, but the marriage will be an awesome lifetime!

my third and final stress point is family. my family went through an amazing and awesome change a couple weeks ago. Baby Anna joined our family and she is nothing but a blessing. however, just like my sister and brother-in-law had to adjust to parenthood, myself and other family members are adjusting to aunt-hood and grandparent-hood. I would love to say it has all been shits and giggles, but it really hasn't. i have felt that the major events i have coming up no longer matter and although i never get to see Anna (and when i do the chances of my getting to hold her and be a part of her life are about 1/10, which sucks) she still trumps everything. I know what a blessing she is, i have been praying for her for a couple years now. this is not at all an attention struggle. when i write it and read over it i feel like an ungrateful bitch. really i have reasons that i wont get into over a blog- they are more deal with in person situations. But i can't deny that i feel like everything is about Anna and my family is still trying to figure out where to put her and how our family fits now. it will take some time, but until then i just wish i got the chance to feel like an aunt.

So in a nutshell, life is crazy, life is big, and it's getting bigger by the minute. I can't keep up. When my life changes were physical i could just fix the problem, take some time off, and bounce back better than ever. Now i am in such a constant state of change that it is unnerving that i can't enjoy everything like i should.I know that in May i will be able to relax, settle into a routine, and one more thing will be checked off the list. Until then, let's hope i can handle it. Normally i take my life stress out on my hair, but i am trying to grow it out for the wedding, so not sure what will happen this time!