Bridezilla

After over a year of waiting, i am finally at the 1/4 of a year point until my wedding. when i say it's in 3 1/2 months it seems like so short, but october still seems so far away. we have a lot to do, but really we are not in a bad place as far as planning goes.

The closer i get to the wedding the More relaxed i have become about it. a year ago i was headed straight down bridezilla lane. i wanted everything done my way and would not listen to anyone. Then i saw an episode of bridezillas and realized that although those women are extreme, i want no part in treating Kel or anyone else the way they treat the people they love. how could any guy still want to marry them after that. So instead i changed my attitude.

However, there were speed bumps that really tested my attitude. People wanting certain things, people making it about them, and Kel's immediate family's drama causing a lot of emotional baggage. Finally i reached the mature decision that even though i am having a big wedding and inviting A LOT of people, i honestly do no care who comes. the only people are want there are the ones who truly are joyous and willing to celebrate in the wonderful covenant that will take place between Kel and myself (and the ones who want to party and celebrate afterwards). if anyone is there for their own attention or reasons, i don't want them there at all.

for the first time in my life it will be all about me (ok not the first time in my life, everyday is all about me, but for the first time in my new life i am starting with Kel and for the first time where it ACTUALLY is about me and not a made up reason in my life) and kel and out life together.

i am glad a had a long engagement because it took me a year to figure that out with Kel. This makes me wonder what other things i will start to realize in the next year!