A new day

July has been a LONG month.

i am so happy it's almost over for SO many reasons! There have been some major events that have made me evaluate where i am in life and where I am headed. With some drama that's been going on and changes that have occurred i have gotten PLENTY of time to stop and think.

My thoughts change daily on what i should do with life, but one things remains certain...

My daughter is an amazing little girl and i am so blessed to have her. I did not realize HOW MUCH TIME i missed with me working as much as i was. I thought i was juggling everything well and that she was fine, but i was so wrong. Since July 1st i have taken time to be home with her everyday. The first week she was so excited to have me with her she followed me everywhere around the house and smiled and clapped every time i picked her up. Since then she plays independently and does great, but she gets upset if i go through a doorway without her. She likes to know where i am and after a whole month she still gets upset when i leave (unless she is at grandma and grandpa's because then she is fine if i leave.) In a month i have learned so much about her, little things i should have known all along as her mother (like she wont eat things cut up but if you give them to her whole she will chow down) but didn't because i was never there. I love being home with her.

I still am not the type to stay home, and honestly we can't afford it for too much longer. So i am job hunting and waiting for opportunities. It has taken it's toll emotionally on me. Some days i think it's great that i quit my job to spend time with my daughter, and other days i freak out thinking "what have i done." I've prayed so much lately about what i should be doing and if i am where God thinks i should be. I have not heard a specific answer until today...

Today i was getting up to work around the house and i turned on Pandora. Usually i listen to my Michael Buble station but today the songs were not as good as usual. So i changed it to a Josh Groban Station. I like the Josh station when i need to think. The first song that comes on is "you are loved." i needed to hear that, and it immediately put me in an amazing mood. The next song to come on is Celine Dion's "A New Day Has Come."

And who said God was ever subtle with his messages.

i can comfortably say that i am where i need to be in life right now. I have a lot to look forward to, i am not bored (too much cleaning to be done to ever be bored) and my daughter is my #1 priority right now, she deserves it.  i have options and i will keep looking for a job, but until then i truly want to enjoy my "catch up" time and see where God takes me and my little family!


p.s. My daughter turns 1 in 17 days! i can't believe it! i am so excited for her party and i have a whole week of super fun activities planned to do with her and spoil her all week!