"why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you're born to stnad out?"

Ok- so the title, has nothing to do with my life, but i am watching What a Girl Wants and i think that's a really good line.

Anyway, so this week has been an extreme week for my family. It started with exciting news that a baby boy was born, and we are shared in the excitement and nervousness as my sister took another step in her adoption journey. The next day we found out that this little bundle would not be a part of our family. My sister and her husband came home and we started to repair the damage.

I know that this was my sister's journey and that i am just the aunt  to their future children, but that does not mean i am not still affected. My whole family was so excited about the prospect of growing in numbers. She is my sister and although we have fought throughout life, we are family and as far as i am concerned sister is the biggest bond of friendship a girl can have. So when my sister goes through a pain this severe, of course i am going to be hurt and affected strongly. Also, her husband has been around in my family since my 8th grade year, which is a HUGE part of my life. I have always wanted a big brother, and he just provided himself to be one. I don't like calling him an in-law, so he is in fact my brother. Which means that things that hurt him, hurt me as well.

I in no way shape or form know what my sister is going through. I pray for her, my brother, their growing family, and the baby that will be partaking a much different life. I hurt for them and most importantly i am there for them.