Back to normal

So..... there have been a lot of vague updates about kel and I have enough time to finally post for everyone to follow along.

About a month ago Kel was complaining of chest/rib pain. After a few days and a prompt care visit kel went to the ER thinking he had cracked ribs. There were no cracks on his xrays but some fluid build up in his lung and abnormalties with his diaphragm were visible. He came home to rest. After the weekend he went back to the ER and xrays showed no changed so he was sent home until his follow up appointment later in the week. After 4days of pain and immobility he had his follow up. That is when he was admitted.

Then the hospital sent him to ct scan and during the scan a chest tube was put in immediately and over a liter was drained right there. He had a very painful chest tube for a week to suction out all the fluid. It was determined that he had some how developed a wierd strand of pneumonia that led to fluid build up in the lung. The fluid was pushing on his lungs, ribs and most of his diaphragm was paralyzed. Over the week at home before it was drained all the pressure led to some complications that made it impossible to drain the remaining fluid from his lung.

After one week of a chest tube we had to talk either surgery to remove all the infection and infected area or we could try at home iv antbiotics for 4-6 weeks to help heal the issues and minimize surgical needs. So kel was sent home and I took over his care for a week.

He started off great but after the first few days started declining and fevers were retuning. So on day 8 at home his fever spiked and he was brought back to the hospital. He was readmitted and we once again discussed surgery to remove all aftected areas of the lung and surrounding areas.

Another chest tube was put in and scans showed the fluid had moved around but was regnerating due to the pneumonia infection. The placement plus accumulated scar tissue have had it impossible for antibiotics to get in and kill the bacteria. The hope was that the chest tube #2 would drain out all the ick.

It didnt. After 5 days of heavy meds and suction nothing new had come out. Scans showed that fluid was rebuilding and pneumonia wasnt changing. At this point it has been a whole month of battles for him and his body just cant fight back. We have been seeing multiple specialists for the pneumonia and more for his lungs plus surgical consultation.

The placement of everything (immediately between his lobes on his left lung) make it tricky. For a non lung surgeon there is severe risk of having to remove one or both lobes. So we were aksed if moving to st. Louis to see a top rated lung surgeon was an option. There is really No other way to get everything out. So kel has been transfered to st. Louis for surgery. The sooner it is done the less likely any of his lung will be removed.

There are a lot of unknowns at this point. Liquid obscures xrays and makes it impossible to know for sure what is up. So surgery could go super well and be an easy removal of all the scar tissue and drainage of the infection, but there could be so much more than we can see. The goal is to keep his lung in tact and fully functioning.

So, I am in st. Louis staying with my little sister to be with kel. Cecelia is being taken care of by my big sister and mom. My other sister is watching our house.  I am so blessed that through all of this my family has helped me and kels family has been here to help him.

I know there are so many people who want to help. It is tricky because we can not accept meals due to Cecelia's allergies. She has to have everything prepped with special butter and oils and cant risk any sort of cross contamination. 

However kel and I are in a wierd spot. Up until this week I have been able to work full time and handle that, but he hasnt been able to work in over a month. Now I am on a leave to be with him in st. Louis until he is recovering well enough. we are losing all our immediate income. Throw in gas to and from st. Louis and hospitals plus food and the things are tight.

If there Is anything people would like to help with (gas, groceries, target runs) gift cards would be a tremendous blessing and relief for us. My sister and parents are the ones to talk to while I am in st louis. Luckily we have had tremendous luck with Cecelia eating out at Meatheads, monicals, and Olive Garden... but those are the only three places she can safely eat allergy free right now. Anything, even some get well cards for kel and lots and lots of prayers,  is a huge help. We have never been in a situation like this and arent sure how to handle it. We need help in lots of little ways, mostly prayer and faith and love.

Our goal is to get kel "back to normal" in every way we can.

For all wondering, myself and baby Gianna (thats her name, Gianna Rose) are doing ok. The dr. Has helped me with ways to manage my stress. The biggest concern for us is
That i keep eating and sleeping regularly.  Ive had issues with weight loss (-35lbs) this pregnancy and that affects everything at this point for her growth and my health. But last two weeks i gained back 1 whole pound so we are headed in the right direction finally. We just have to keep me calm long enough to make it to my scheduled c-section in early oct. Labor would be dangerous and risky for both me and Gianna so we are avoiding that at all costs!

Lots of prayers and love please. We just heard that surgery is full for today and they are hoping to sneak kel on this afternoon.

For those who understand medical stuff..... this was EXTREMELY dumbed down. There is so much little details and I cant spell half of them, so please accept my appoligy for how dumbed down it is!

things are going SEW well

For Christmas i got a sewing machine. Sewing is something i have always wanted to try but never knew where to start. a few month ago i started taking mini informal lessons with a friend using her equipment. we made some amazing pillow cases for my nieces and nephews as a Christmas gift and i thought i could try out some more. I ended up getting a nice machine for Christmas and my "unofficial" new years resolution is to complete at least 52 projects (one per week) in 2014.

There are a couple of reasons Sewing is hard to get into... at least for me. first is cost. once you have the supplies and a good start it's not expensive, at least not any more than any other hobby. you also get a lot more out of it than scrap booking, but start up is a lot! since i got the machine as a gift i have been working on the bare minimums for right now. hopefully slowly my hubs and i can start to build up my sewing room, but until then i am learning with the basics.

second: time. it takes time to plan, purchase fabric, wash, dry, iron, fold, get the patterns, cut, pin, measure THEN sew. I am huge on jumping right in and just sewing, not so much the tedious work that needs to go first. this has been a great lesson for me to sit and focus on one things as well as time to get away from my daughter adn husband and do something productive, slightly theraputic and not cleaning my house.

third: there are so many ideas, where do you start?i immediately wanted to find a dress pattern on pinterest and start sewing. instead i have started with two very small things (both things i wanted anyway). These small projects each taught me something different, and i learned a ton about the whole process and things i need.

Now that i tackled my hurdles, got some supplies, found the time and used self control to help learn so i can do things right it was FINALLY time to get sewing.

First thing i did when my machine was up and running, sew two pairs of pants that had holes in the together, and sew on a button. Stupid little things i couldn't have done before but they saved me over $100 having to replace those 3 pairs of pants (at least postponed it for a few more months)! For The WIN! i feel no matter how else the 52 projects go, i have saved us money and therefore it's all worth it.

Second i made a bag for Cecelia to take to church. it's a bit big (the strap) for her and there are LOTS of reasons it looks homemade and could be improved upon, however it cost me nothing and i learned a ton.

(btw, i'd post pictures but i have not mastered my new computer yet, when i do i will put up pictures)

• for fabric i used Cecelia's old baby blanket (she has DOZENS i'll never use again) and cut it up to put it together. 
• i did not use a design, i folded and pinned it symmetrically to fit our books and needs. 
• i added pockets for her little "saint peg" dolls she takes to church, then i added a rosary pocket
• i sewed a start and sewed it on

it took about an hour total and gave me a chance to play with the different stitches and settings and thread colors and needles and get to know my machine. The bag might not look that good but i learned what i needed and all it took was a baby blanket, my machine, scissors and a few pins.

Third i made some place mats for valentines day decor around my house. they are reversible and literally the EASIEST THING TO EVER MAKE! they are the BEST starting point in my opinion adn i can't wait to make more for every season

• before yous tart you gotta pick out two coordinating fabrics. this is SUPER important because fabric and crafts stores take soem getting used to for beginners. i went to JoAnns and found what i needed then looked around. There are more supplies than you could ever hope for, but it gave me a chance to make a wishlist and price list in my head. Plus with coupons i got everything cheap! Although this was a super easy starting point, i have realized there are at least two things (a cutting mat and roller cutter) i will have to get before my next project. seems like a no brainer, but this first step of getting fabric and walking around the store is a MUST!
• cut out whatever size you want your mats to be. i made 4, so cut 4 rectangles (honestly i can't remember the measurements right now, it's late at night) of each fabric
• line them up, set your thread adn pin tehm in place
• sew all four sides together
• make sure they match up, tidy the strays up and you are all done. 

The are super cute and i'll be making more for st pattys day very soon. 

I didn't mention the first steps you need once you get your fabric before you start: wash, dry, iron, fold. Not pointless, in fact that is the most meaningful part of any sewing project. who knew! 

So i hope if there's anyone starting to sew or thinking about starting this helps! i can't wait to try my next project (already have the plan and fabric!) ad see what i can do this year! 

Going Pee Pee on the Potty

So we have begun potty training Cecelia. She is 17 months old and has been showing all the signs that she is ready and gets it (crying when she goes in her diaper, showing interest when we go on the potty, flushing the toilet, going in her diaper IN the bathroom, etc). I have received a lot of feedback from people that she is too young and i should just make life easier and wait a few more months until summer/ she is older. People tell me this like i don't know it's hard to potty train a nonverbal YOUNG and strong willed girl. They say things that make me feel like they don't trust my instincts as a mother. They piss me off and i want to slap them.

I know she is young and if i had it my way i would wait until summer when she can run around naked and get it done in 2 days! However there's more to the story than me hating changing diapers (true story it's easier than cleaning my carpet when she craps on it).

Cecelia has allergies (we all know!) and a result is SEVERE excema all over her body and especially in delicate parts, behind her knees, on her ankles, her shoulders and HER DIAPER AREA! The places don't get a lot of air flow and therefore her skin is awful! i can't count the amount of times people ask me how she got injured and scraped BEHIND HER KNEES. there's nothing i can do about it that i'm not already doing (and thanks for making me feel like an incompetent mom, lady at the mall who has NO CLUE why my daughter is covered in a rash and sores). We lotion her at least once an hour using 3 different lotions (one to heal, one to moisturize and one to seal), we see the dermatologist, i purged my house of anything she's allergic to so not even crumbs can cause her to react and we keep our house MUCH WARMER than i would like. She has a humidifier i clean and fill daily and She wears summer clothes in the winter to avoid her sweating or getting over heated. I work all day every day to ensure she isn't scratching, but half the time i can't stop myself from scratching when i'm itchy, let alone my 1.5 year old.

What does all this have to do with potty training, well the worst area is her diaper area. There's no airflow down there and with a diaper, onsies AND pants it gets very warm down there. We tried cloth diapers for a year and she but was so raw her skin peeled off in my hand one day. Then we tried disposables and she got excema so bad it looked like chemical burns on her butt. we tried cloth aloe wipes, fancy disposable wipes, spraying water with no wipes, baths multiple times a day, one bath a week, every lotion possible, new cloth diapers, old cloth diapers, stripping cloth diapers daily, 5 different brands and a variety of sized diapers.... no matter what her poor but was raw. She squats instead of sitting and i can't help but think it's because her butt ALWAYS hurts.

So our solution is to potty train. It's taking longer than normal, but she is young and doesn't have the ability to tell us when she needs to go. She's also a normal busy toddler who can't be inconvenienced by sitting on the toilet, there are things to do people!

I read every book, researched methods and even though they all say to wait a bit; however i don't have a choice. my daughter deserve to not have a fiery burning pain on her ass all day. We got some undies and a potty seat for Christmas for her and Jan 2 we started. She is doing REALLY REALLY well for a young kid who can't tell us when she needs to go.

Day 1: sat every 30 minutes, got a skittle for sitting and 4 or 5 when she peed on the toilet. No pants all day just bare but! 1 accident and it was while i was peeing on the potty (monkey see monkey do, i have to sneak my pees now or hold it until nap time). Dry after nap adn went on potty after nap! Successful but exhausting day one!

Day 2: ask about every hour and sit her when she says yes. Naked butt again irst half of day and underwear second half of the day. She had 2 big accidents, one she said "OOPS" as she started peeing and ran (while peeing) to the bathroom. BEST kind of accident because i know she is getting it! Second one again while i peed!

Day 3: she did great for Kel. in underwear and pant for the day and only had accidents for me, but went every time for Kel. He is amazing with her and very patient for this whole process, however i am the caregiver while he works and i kinda need her to pee for me! One accident in the car on our way to church but then went pee pee at grandma and grandpas!

Day 4: she was being an intentional stinker. she would look at me and pee on the floor while smiling and laughing. i know she gets it, but i also know she is my kid and thinks that's funny. she went every time on the potty for kel though!

Day 5: SNOW DAY! Kel is on potty duty all day hoping it clicks before i take over tomorrow. she gets it and goes on the potty 80% of the time when we are paying attention. I see this as win for only being 17 months old!

So i am sick and tired of hearing people's opinions, especially if they don't know the whole story. It's not easy but it's easier than watching my daughter in pain from her diapers.  I am doing a GREAT job as a mother and as her mother. i have taken on all the hurdles and challenges we've had and gone with it. she is a happy and spirited little girl who gets everything she wants or needs and knows it. I love her more than words can describe and i NO LONGER need the approval or opinions of other people. Since getting pregnant i have looked to others for approval or advice or acceptance and after all the crap i've heard lately about potty training my young toddler i feel NO MORE NEED for approval. I know i'm right and everyone can take their thoughts and opinions and keep them to themselves.

wow just typing that is liberating.

UPDATE: Day 6- NO accidents (2 poops in her pants, but that is a different battle for a different day, she does not have a regular poop schedule and i'm jsut happy she poops some days!). SUPER pumped! she consciously went on the toilet every time. you could actually see her controlling when to go and when to hold. 

Kisses for my tears!

So I knew going into january that it would be a very emotional month. Lots of people I know are having babies or announcing pregnancies and each one reminds me that my baby is in heaven. So today I cried!

Cecelia and I were cuddling and I reread some old blog posts to remember what 2013 brought and I lost it!

However as soon as my first tear rolled down my cheek my super sweet daughter wiped it away and no "no thanks mama."

Of course this made me cry harder and she responded by kissing each and every tear on my face.

Although ive had a lot of trials and rough times in the past year I have the best baby girl who is full of life and love. She is the greatest miracle ive ever seen and being her mom makes everything, no matter how hard, worth it.

I plan to distract myself this month with some awesome activities with chi chi, potty training (more on that later), my 25th birthday and  working!

2013 was a hard year but I pray 2014 bring joy and answered prayers!

Reflections and traditions

I have done TONS of reflecting and thinking lately. However i have a really hard time doing traditional "reflections" or any sort of meditation/quiet activity (the world is SHOCKED i can't sit quiet and still!). However i have found a couple of things lately that have really helped me reflect and actually focus on the season of Advent.

I have tried SO SO SO hard this advent season to take time everyday to reflect on Advent, the Meaning of Christams and all the wonders that came with Jesus' birth, however i am scatterbrained and often think about something for 2 second and move on. Instead of accepting my scatterbrained nature i have set "mental traps" all around my house and life to force me to think, reflect and pray throughout the day about Advent and Christmas. This has worked AMAZINGLY! I am shocked at how much i devote each day in thought, reflection or prayer with my reminders. they are usually small, short things but occasionally i'll spend 30-60 minutes in deep thought and prayer.

If youa re scatterbrained like me, or if life is so busy you barely remember to pee when you need to i hope some of these little tips help you:

1. 1. nativities! this seems obvious, yet i have talked to a lot of people who don't have one. I have 3 in my living room alone. One is large, one is crystal (and super pretty) and one is a play one for Cecelia (and yes i found Princess Jasmine and Mary Chatting next to baby Jesus the other day!). When i see my crystal one i take a moment to rediscover the BEAUTY of Christmas (physically and metaphorically). The concept of Jesus and his humility as the lights twinkly off the nativity. Then i see the large on i have and it's Mary and Joseph looking adoringly at Jesus and i am reminded of their Love for him, specifically all Mary went through just to bring him into the world (labor sucks, and she did it in a barn, at night after riding on a donkey). Finally i set up and pick up Cecelia's little play nativity 100X a day and every time i reflect one every person and animal and their role in the christmas season. 
2. My tree! I look a it and see ornaments from my childhood (all great happy memories) and then ones from each year as Kel and I have built our lives together (Cecelia already has more than Kel on the tree). I am reminded of how blessed i am and how many loved ones i have to share this season with. 
3. Music! I listen to mostly traditional Christmas Music (Lots of Josh Groban). I like the contemporary (and 90s) stuff but i can only take that in small doses. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the first Noel and What Child Is This. Those two songs are my favorite and listening to them is the BEST way for me to get into the season. They transport me to the first christmas and i feel like i am a part of it. BTW i have an overactive imagination so this all gets very vivid and amazing for me. 
4. My Kindle! i have an app that lets me read and reflect about saints and the readings that day. it's a very traditional way to reflect, but it works!

Finally today i had the the best/most emotional reflection of the Season. There's a song i have always known and loved but today the lyrics had me crying in the kitchen. "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant is Mary's version of Christmas. It literally tells her story and covers her fears of not just becoming a first time mother, but the Mother of God. I remember how much being 9 months pregnant SUCKS and the fears/uncertainties and general discomfort. And my kid wasn't God. Plus i didn't have to travel cross country on a donkey to give birth drug free in a barn. I struggled riding in a large smooth car to have a csection! It gave me lots to think about and ive never felt more in the christmas spirit.

This year we are also working on building some rock solid christmas traditions. Cecelia is old enough to participate in most. We do the usual "putting up the tree" and "hanging the stockings" but Kel and i really wanted more this year. So we talked and started some new ones.

• Santa? this was a huge debate for us. I'm not a fan of Santa. something about the man creeps me out. We def don't do pics with santa with Cecelia, but i was open to the idea of starting him with Cecelia. I really like the story and traditions of St. Nick (you know, the guy who inspired the whole santa concept). My sister doesn't do Santa with her kids but instead focuses on the story on Christmas, which i like. So Kel and i found a compromise for our family traditions.... St. Nick comes on Dec 6th (his feast day) and fills our stockings. We tell the story of St Nick and the history behind it. on Christmas Eve we open our presents from the kids and the kids open their presents from each other (as we have more kids). And on Christmas Day the stockings and gifts are from mom and dad. Its def all our own and this year Kel, Cecelia and i enjoyed our St. Nicholas Day Stockings and making and shopping for some gifts.

  

  new shoes and gift card to a mani/pedi! i'll take it!

  
  

  

  Kel's stocking had all the mini makings for his favorite drink (a long island iced tea)

  

  Cecelia got books, fruit, snacks, slippers, magna doodle (travel sized) and blocks!

  
  
  
  
   
• kel and i plan on enjoying Christmas Eve by wearing our pjs, making hot chocoloate, watching Christmas movies and making cinnamon rolls for Christmas Day. Throw in church and gift exchanges. kel has to work 2-11p on christmas eve and day but we plan on celebrating all morning then Cecelia and i can enjoy the evening. 
• Christmas Day i plan on spending the day in my pjs, opening gifts and eating yummy food. 
•  Most importantly we have started a Christmas Season Countdown book and an advent calendar. Cecelia really enjoys these books and activities. I want to make a few more for next year when she is old enough to participate a little bit more. 

So in a nutshell we are doing lots and lots to get ready for Christmas. It's a busy time of year but we are really enjoying it. Cecelia LOVES the tree and lights and activities. She even played in the snow a bit! We have focused this on advent, the REAL meaning of christmas and Cecelia. She's still super young but that girl absorbs everything like a sponge. i love watching her reactions to everything (we are going ot go driving around to see lights soon, i can't wait to see what she thinks) and seeing her really experience everything as a little girl. She has been the best hting to happen in our lives (aside form each other) and this year she has really been our hope and our light at the end of the tunnel. So we are celebrating that! i will post picutres as we go, until then here's a few of our snow adventure!

she was so goofy waddling around our yard!

sitting in the snow!

this is right after she ripped off her gloves and right before eating the snow! afte rthis she got cold hands and stopped liking it! 

we took the same picture int eh same spot last year! oh how things have changed in just one year!

dancing with daddy!

beautiful family photo! it took a few tried but Cecelia finally smiled!

this was her spot for awhile. She liked snow briefly then was ready to sit and watch!

 

Are there any traditions you do that you like or any you want to start?

i watch WAY too much TV!

Kel and i were making Christmas cards and there was quite the little conversation going on. First of all there are SO MANY different kinds of Christmas Cards. The choices we wanted to narrow it down a bit from a card with yearly updates or just a postcard. As we were talking i realized i COULD NOT positively do a card with yearly updates for multiple reasons:

1. everyone i would send one to i talk to regularly so therefore it would be useless to recap things
2. i feel it would have to be cutesy or rhyme and come on, no thanks
3. finally i realized we don't have good news right now to share and pass. Everything i want to share (Cecelia turning one, i got a part time job at a retail store, kel starts school in january, we finally got pictures hung on the wall) are not christmas card material OR have a really despressing memory behind them.

I recapped the year for us and although we have a lot to be thankful for and are truly blessed in so many ways, this year has been the worst and hardest of my life. I am truly a different person than i was in 2014 and have dealt with SO MUCH physically and emotionally and with my little family recapping it is exhausting. So we went with just a cute postcard and quick blessing to all.

So as i thought about my year, all we have been through and all that has happened i examined where we are at RIGHT NOW! For 5 months i feel like we have been sitting in the depression and despair that is our life. The past week we have started to rebuild and return to ourselves.

My part time job (which is great, i really enjoy it. it's not my dream job or a career i ever pictured but it's what i have now and for that i am grateful) has allowed us to pay bills (finally). That alone is a comfort that i can work with. It's not much but it's more than we had a month ago.

I am feeling better about my miscarriage. It still sucks, but i am on the tail end of the grieving process. I see baby stuff and instead of immediately crying, getting bitter or angry or shutting down i can look how cute it is and enjoy it. The fear of getting pregnant again is still very strong, but Kel and I are in no hurry to expand and honestly are just enjoying our goof ball one year old.  Three major things have happened in the past week that have really hit me and made me realized how to process, grieve and move on.

• The Voice- a tv show i keep up with. there was a song that one of the contestants sang dedicated to his wife. He said they have had it rough but come through it and things are changing and they made it. i BAWLED HISTERICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i felt like this wa smy life he was talking about and i realized that kel and i have been thought SERIOUS stuff but there is a light in the tunnel and things are changing for the better. LOOK IT UP, BAWL YOUR FACE OFF, YOU WILL FEEL GREAT! 
• The Biggest Loser -(ok ok i watch a bit of TV, sue me). One of the contestants got to go home for a week and workout with Jillian. She talked about grieving and accepting the loss so you can move on. again i started BAWLING and realized she was so right and i learned to move on.
• Pandora.com- best music listening radio station there is. I have been listening to it at work and the music had been exactly what i needed. i've had so much time to reflect and really use the music to express my feelings.

Which is the final thing that has been singing in joy for once instead of pouting and throwing a pity party. Kel and i have been through a lot in the two years we have been married. We got married, got pregnant, moved into a house, had a baby, found out she has food allergies and relearned a lifestyle, got pregnant again, lost my job, lot the baby, cecelia turned one, got a job and now we are here. It's been one thing (good or bad) after the other and we have come through so much stronger than before. I feel like in two short years we have climbed mountains and swam across oceans together. It's been hard but we love each other so much more now than we ever thought possible. For at least two weeks we have stopped struggling to keep up with life and just started enjoying it.

I feel like a huge weight ahs been lifted of my shoulders, and in perfect time. Advent is here and i am starting this season on a new leaf. It's a perfect time to reflect, pray, grown and anticipate with joy the birht of Jesus, and for once i am doing all of these. I am content and at peace with life and instead of dwelling on the bad i am looking forward to good things to come.

i know a lot of people struggling out there right, crazy things happen. They have my prayers and i pray that they find peace like i did and let this season heal their hearts and lift their worries.

Baby face!

So my little girl is not so little anymore. She has lost all her baby fat and is now a toddler. I'm really liking this new phase, she is active and mobile and INCREDIBLY independent. I have never seen so much spunk, attitude and curiosity in one little girl (then again i never saw myself as a child and i'm pretty sure i was the exact same way).  She is SO goofy and funny.

i could honestly brag and talk about my no-longer-a-baby girl all day. I'm sure that would get old though and not everyone would enjoy that as much as me.

So things have been crazy around here. i picked up a part time seasonal job at a retail store that i am a big fan of. Between that and Cecelia my plate is full.

Poor Chi Chi (that's the nickname that has been adopted for her) has been sick. It's thrown all of us off and even gotten me sick too! The poor baby has enough to fight off daily with her allergies being crazy sensitive. When she gets sick (as we found out) her body is unable to fight of sickness and allergies at the same time. So as a result she has had hives for a week now that wont go down and benedryl wont help relieve. Also, after talking with the doctor he explained that Cecelia will have issues other kids dont when she is sick. because he immune system is ALWAYS running half speed or more to fight off her allergies when she gets sick she is likely to get sicker faster than the average kiddo. On top of getting sick quickly her small common colds can cause fever, rash, itchy skin and infections becuase it spurs allergic reactions.

So cecelia has two ear infections and was starting to form bronchitis. normally the dr. would have just given her something for the ear infections but since she is likely to get sicker faster he didn't want it to turn into pneumonia. So she got antiobiotics for all three infections.

She is still fighting it, but at least her skin has cleared up. And the illness has made her super sleepy and cuddly. i love the cuddles but i hate getting them because she is sick.

So yeah, i work at 4 or 5 am 2-3 times a week, have a sick baby who wants constant attention and a house that is being deep cleaned to help sick-o girls immune system.

is it next week yet?

Meals, Menus and Recipes OH MY!

Update: last week Kel and I went on vacation. it has been since january that we were able to take days off work and go! We visited his Grandma and Aunt (and two uncles) in Kentuckiana (the border of Kentucky and Indiana- Louisville basically). It was, so relaxing and Cecelia was the perfect baby the whole trip. Then we got home and Cecelia raced off with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend while Kel and i took the train down to St. Louis to visit dear friends!

I used to go to STL all the time and visit my friend, but two years ago she got a house down there and this was the first time i was able to visit her. We had an amazing weekend. Wine, friends, haunted houses, afternoon naps and no baby. This was the longest and further i had even been away form Cecelia, and although much needed i missed my baby girl SO much and am happy to be back home with her.

Kel and i know this is our last week off for a long time. The holidays coming up are more of a chance to work than visit everyone. Kel gets paid extra to work around the holidays and i just picked up a seasonal job.... so this was our last break for a bit!

Kel and i spent every possible penny we could on treating ourselves to wine (yes we hit multiple wineries) and food, so when we got home we had an empty fridge and very low grocery budget! We also ate like crap all week and are very ready to get back to balanced, clean and yummy.... so i dug into my coupon bin and started planning a menu! My budget was $60 total and i successfully got everything i needed for the week. Never fear, because here is my menu and recipe plans for the week.

• Sunday: lemon chicken and roasted red potatoes

• This is a whole Chicken roasted in the oven, you will need:
• whole chicken (remove giblets and pat dry)
•  4 lemons
• spices (rosemary, thyme, garlic)
• set oven to 400 degrees, salt and pepper inside and outside of whole chicken. sprinkle with seasonings. add juice of two whole lemons to the inside and outside of chicken (very liberally). take other two lemons and pierce multiple times with a fork them place inside the cavity of the chicken. reduce heat to 350 and put breast side down in roasting pan and cook for 25 minutes. flip the chicken so breasts are up and cook for another hour (until done). let chicken cool a few minutes them remove the lemons. squeeze juices onto the chicken form extra lemons and sprinkle remainder of seasonings over the chicken. mix the juices a bit and pour over chicken and potatoes. then EAT!
• the red potatoes i quartered and put wedges into muffin tins. cover with same seasonings as the chicken and i covered in olive oil. before putting the oven (350 for 30-45 minutes) put a clove of garlic in eat muffin spot in the tin. so yummy. 

This chicken we ate for dinner then to save time and money i used what was left (the breasts)  and pulled it from the bones. then this is the chicken i used in the lasagna for thursday! there was even enough for some sandwiches throughout the week too!

• Monday: Rice Krispie fried chicken strips over spicy rice 

•  cook minute white rice- kinda self explanitory
• i used THAI Chili Sauce on the rice! so yummy, gives it a kick without killing it and not too saucy. My favorite but use whatever sauce you like
• to cook the chicken you will need:
• chicken breasts
• flour
• egg (whisked together)
• rice krispies
• seasonings (i use garlic and rosemary and salt)
• olive oil (vegetable or canola oil works too, we use olive for the allergy reasons)
• cut the chicken into strips. heat the oil on the stove top until sizzling. one at a time cover chicken in flour, then put in eggs then in crushed rice krispies mixed with the seasonings (breadcrumbs are the traditional thing to do, i prefer the rice krispies because it's amazing and allergy free, but do whatever you want!). Cook in the oil until golden brown and cooked all the way through. put over the rice and eat. Cecelia (1yr old) ate more than i did she loved it so much. 

to lighten this up bake it instead of frying it! 

• Tuesday: Buffalo Chicken Pizza 

• basically 
• take pizza crust and roll it out (we make a homemade whole wheat crust for a healthier and allergy free option)
• sauce it-make a sauce out of ranch and buffalo sauce according to your preference.
• add mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses
• add chicken (prebaked with red pepper flakes, olive oil, italian seasoning, etc and cut into small cubes)
• bake per crust's specifications
• SO YUMMY!

• Wednesday: Alfredo, Spinach and chicken lasagna bake

• first i made an alfredo sauce. to make this light and healthy i made one batch of alfredo sauce and mixed it with a batch of cauliflower garlic sauce.  i LOVE LOVE LOVE this. Kel would not have guessed it was mostly vegetable ever and it was such a yummy and creamy. both of those recipes are on my pinterest
• then i added steamed spinach (kel HATES cooked spinach but he couldn't really taste it mixed into the sauces and it adds some pretty color)
• i cooked the noodles and laid them out. i added a layer of sauce, noodles, layer of shredded chicken (from sunday) with 4 cheese Italian blend shredded cheese, noodles, sauce, noodles and topped with chicken and cheese!
• Bake at 425 for 30-45 minutes or until golden brown and gooey

This is a GREAT freezer meal! i made half for the freezer for another week and half for wednesday. The longer you let it sit (i made it Sunday for wednesday's lunch) the more the sauce sets and absorbs flavor. make this a day or two in advance, put it together and don't bake it until you are ready to serve it.

• Thursday: Crock Pot Chicken and Rice

•  this is the perfect things for revamping leftovers. take everything and throw it in the crockpot for a couple of hours and enjoy. 
• i use the leftover chicken from the week cut into cubes or shredded, add in with rice and the buffalo sauce, ranch, Thai sauce and some water. add in seasonings per your liking and top with crushed rice krispies.
• i like to add cheese or some leftover alfredo sauce to it as well! 

• Friday: leftovers 

  So i got these recipes form pinterest, friends, my favorite TV show The Chew and a couple i just made up! if made consciously and correctly then they can be healthy and guilt free. Again all for $60 (i used some coupons but not enough it would have added for than $5) and a lot of the supplies are things you already have. 

counting my blessings (it's about time)

Things have been bleak for awhile. I've had a really hard time trying to pull myself out of the dark. I tried so hard to focus on the little good things, but for a couple weeks i found none.

Today however, i have many blessings to focus on and be grateful for.

(in no particular order):

• This week my sister brought home two BEAUTIFUL girls (ages 3 and 1.5). I got to meet them yesterday and they are so sweet and beautiful and i am so happy to have them join our family. My Goddaughter is such a cutie (the younger one). i can't wait to see  her and Cecelia become friends! And the older one took to me right away and let me help her on the monkey bars and show her how to climb on the playground equipment!

•  I also got to have my nails done for my friend Jessi's wedding that i'm in on Sunday! i got pampered AND lunch with an amazing old friend.  Seems small, but it's been so long since i had someone take care of me!

• Last night i got to see most of my good great friends that i have known most of my life (preschool, grade school, high school and beyond) as we celebrated my dear friend's wedding shower/bachlorette party. We stayed in, talked, laughed (a lot). She moved a year ago to Florida and last month she moved to Washington (the state) and i have not gotten to see her! It was great to catch up and hang out. I miss all my friends, i can't seem to get enough of them!

•  I got a job! It's starting as Seasonal work for a retail store that i LOVE. It's VERY EARLY morning hours but i wont need a babysitter and i'll get tons of time to see my daughter in the afternoon. It will be weird going back to work, but i am SO very ready. I have to be honest, it's not the world's most glamorous job, but i am SO VERY HAPPY to be working there and for an opportunity. I've worked much worse jobs and this will help my family SO MUCH!

• As previously stated i got to hang out with friends last night.... and this morning i got to sleep in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! until 10am (seems lame, but anyone with kids knows how AWESOME that it)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i woke up to a happy husband and baby and a cup of coffee. within 30 minutes of being awake BOTH went down for a nap! This is so beautiful. i get to sit in my QUIET house, in my PJs, blogging and catching up on the TV shows i missed last night. no baby touching my computer, my husband talking through my tv shows, coffee (in my new SUPER LARGE Harry Potter Coffee Mug my friend got me from Harry Potter World... she rocks) and cake for breakfast (so yummy)!   

- i just reread that and i sound like my parents and i'm not ashamed! It's the little things and life that matter- like hot coffee and watching 1/2 hour of TV without having to pause and rewind! 

• I also have an action packed weekend: rehearsal dinner tonight, Family pictures and Oktoberfest tomorrow, wedding Sunday! So excited!  

• Next week Kel and i are going on vacation! It's our two year anniversary so we are getting out of town with Cecelia. We are going to Louisville area to visit his Grandma and Aunt and Uncle. I LOVE seeing them and staying with them. This will be our first trip more than two days with Cecelia's allergies. I am not as nervous as i thought i'd be. Monday i will cook a week's worth of grab and go food (lots of calzones and homemade poptarts) for her! His grandma is SO excited to see Cecelia (and us) and we are just as excited to see her!

• then in a week we are taking the train to St. Louis to visit and stay with a friend (no cecelia) until Sunday. Haunted Houses, autumn drinks, no kiddo, and good friends! Words cannot describe how long we have waited for this and are looking forward to this.

In short it's been a hard couple of months but with lots of Prayers i ma hoping to be on the up!  I am blessed with an amazing family that loves and supports me, beautiful friends i can go to with anything and love seeing and hanging out with (no matter how much time has passed), an job to get me back in the grind and providing for my family, oh and an amazing husband and PERFECT daughter.

Time to get up, dust myself offand get back out into the world. 

News!

It's been a crazy couple of days for news of all kind!

First on Wednesday i had an interview for a job i have been waiting for months to hear about. The interview went really well.... or so i thought until Thursday when i got the call that they went with the other candidate. I am taking it pretty hard. I've heard/read/received more rejection in the past two months than i  thought possible. the worst part is that i keep hearing "you were great but the other person is more qualified" or that i am "over qualified for the position." the absolute worst is just a generic email "thanks for applying, but we have gone another route in filling this position, however we will let you know if anything opens up." I am so sick of it and so beyond discouraged!

For GREAT new i found out i will be an Aunt again X2! My sister got a call that she will be adopting two little girls, ages 3 and 1! I am really really excited to have two more nieces! and to top it off Kel and I were asked to be Godparents for the one year old! I am SO SO SO SO excited to meet my Goddaughter! It's such a special story and situation! Cecelia gets to have two cousins on one side of the family her age (literally her grade in school, and they will all be going to the same school- God willing- so Cecelia will have TWO cousins in her class in school) and one cousin on the other side of the family in her age! Plus two additional older cousins to grow up with her!

Then i suddenly realized it's been two months since i lost my son. I was doing great for awhile but lately this has hit me pretty hard. If i see a picture of JP2 or the letters JP i loose it. I also know a LOT of women due between January and March and i am still adjusting to the thought it's not me. Every night Cecelia and i say our prayers and ask for her brother JP to pray for her. She points up a the ceiling fan-we have wind chimes hanging from them-and we ring them when we talk to JP. She is such a sweetheart and loves babies, her baby doll or anything in a baby swing or seat. She would be such a good big sister and it kills me that she wont get to hold her brother. Aside form when she put my mother's doll in the toilet (hey, Bitty Babies need to go potty too!), she would be an amazing big sister!

It's so hard, balancing happy and sad news! It all came in one hour. I'm so excited to see my sister's prayers answered! All of our prayers really, we have all been hoping and waiting to see her/our extended family grow! I never thought that my daughter would be the only white kid in the group, and now that we have it that way i would not change it for the world! On the other hand, i'm so discouraged and trying very hard not to let depression set in. I have a lot to be thankful for, but i also have had so much taken away from me in the past few months! i've never really felt this helpless in my own life. It's really not a good feeling, at all!

you know you are "grown up" when you have a crafting party!

these are everyone's creations from two of the crafts! they all kind of matched our personalities and look different even though they are the same supplies and process.

 

My friends and I got together and had a "pinterest" party. What we did-everyone picked a different craft and brought all the supplies to have 4 people complete that craft once. We did each craft and at the end of the night went home with 4 different decor things instead of just a pile of supplies! it was SO much fun! We already are planning our next one (Christmas themed). 

The inspirations was that we all have houses or townhouses now (or very very soon!) and not enough money or resources to fully decorate them for the seasons the way we would like. So to save a buck, decorate our houses all while having a jolly good time, sign me up! Total i THINK we all spent $15 or less on our supplies for 5 people to each do a craft! not bad at all. If we had each done these 4 crafts ourselves with all the supplies it would have cost roughly $50-$75! Instead for $15 we did all of these! 

 

They all ended up being fall themed and SUPER cute. 

the finished product!

• First my friend K picked a twine covered vase filled with seasonal flowers and ribbon. Hers took the longest but was SUPER cute and easy to make. 

• supplies: included vases, twine, hot glue, flowers and ribbon.
• directions: start at the bottom and hot glue the twine to the vase in a circular pattern. first put on glue then twine and press to seal it. You go round and round until the vase is covered. Once done you add flowers and a ribbon!
• Tips: use a pair of scissors to put the twine into the glue to keep it tight and eliminate gaps. Hot glue is HOT! Also one roll of twine did all 4 of our vases, don't go twine buying crazy! Finally dont rush.

My glittered pumpkin!

my painted pumpkin.the other side is a traditional jack-o-lantern face

• Next my friend L brought supplies to decorate "faux-kins"- fake pumpkins. so much easier than real pumpkins, last more than one week and you can do whatever you want to them. 

• supplies: pumpkins, paint, glue, glitter, brushes, chalk
• directions: decorate your pumpkin! i glittered one and painted another. to glitter you apply pain or glue (i used Modge Podge)  and liberally apply glitter to the glued area. To paint you design (we used chalk it worked well) and paint however you want. 
• Tips: use a garbage bag or newspapers underneath glitter (not your friend's sidewalk unless they want a sparkled walkway) and do it outside if possible! Also use chalk to outline your design first. 

i hot glued on my ribbon and the cute pumpkins!

• My friend M brought all the supplies to make tea light candle centerpieces!  this idea i LOVED and have in the middle of my table! already. 

• supplies: vases, mini acorn and pumpkin pieces, candles, ribbon
• directions: put your candle in the vase, add the acorns and pumpkins and decorate the outside with ribbon.
• Tips: we counted out how many of each pieces could be used for each one. that way someone didn't have a bunch and the next person have none.

 

•  Finally my project was to decorate wine bottles with letters and glitter. 



this really has an R on it, the glare hides it



my friend L did the "BOO" and it's my fav!

• supplies: wine bottles (cleans, stripped off labels, and dry), stencils, modge podge, brushes, glitter, spray paint (black- or any dark color) and spray paint glitter finish. 
• directions: empty wine bottles and spray paint them black. then you stencil modge podge, add glitter and finish with  the glitter spray. for each step make sure you wait until it's completely dry before doing the next.
• Tips: lots of air flow/well vented area. actually just do it in your garage or outside- spray paint is strong. also soak the bottles long before you strip them or you will be scrubbing all day.

These are all the crafts i did! i will spend the day putting them up and decorating some more!

 So this is how i spent my Friday nights. We all brought a snack to munch on (K- i need you the give me that dip recipe, i'm addicted) and some wine and "Lemonade." I am really excited for the next party we will have. I am planning my Christmas craft already! I also am hoping to plan a cookie day (around christmas time), where everyone brings a cookie recipe and we spend a day baking cookies or sweet treats together! My mom does that with her friends and it gives everyone a ton of cookies to take to work, give to babysitters, etc!
I really encourage everyone to find a friend (or two or three) and do this with. Pick a craft you are comfortable demonstrating and is relatively simple and share it! It really saved us all some time, money, supplies and it was a blast! 
 
The only downside was that i missed a couple of our friends who have moved out of state (J and M) more than usual. this is RIGHT up both of their alleys and  they would have loved this. Maybe next time we do this we will all have to pitch in and do two extra of each craft for them and send a care package! I especially was thinking (okay laughing a little, but mostly bummed for her) of my friend M who is snowed in (I KNOW, FIRST WEEK OF OCTOBER! it's 80 here and snowing there- tough break)! I really like the idea that next time we send them a sampler care package so their places look pretty too and they know we are thinking of them!
 

What's your favorite craft to do that is fall decor/themed (halloween, thanksgiving or just fall)?

HAPPY OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONFESSION: i have $12 in my checking account for the next 10 days~

This might seem scary and daunting to a lot of people, but it is a personal accomplishment for me. Neither my husband or I is very good with budgets and math and money, but we do ok most of the time. if i am being really honest kel and i consider it a great month if we get all the basic bills paid and fill one of our cars up ALL the way with gas.

The reason i see starting October with $12 in my checking account: for the first time in MONTHS kel and i paid every single bill in full and got started on all of our recent medical bills (from my surgery in August).

This seems stupid, every single family in America pays bills, but for me to say i paid EVERY SINGLE BILL, on time and in full plus i have $12 in my account at the first of the month in an awesome feeling.

• there are no bills waiting on my desk to be paid
• there are no creditors or collectors calling me because I missed or was late on a payment
• there is no fear that next paycheck wont cover all my bills
• there is enough food in my house and freezer for a week, bonus points it's food i LIKE and not just ucky food left in the freezer because i don't like it (although i might stop by for dinner at my parents one night this week)
• i have 2 things i sold on craiglists i am waiting to get picked up for some extra cash for the week
• i have an additional $10 cash in my wallet

There are still a lot of medical bills i only paid minimum payments on them, but i got the first one paid off completely and am hoping to get them paid off soon.

This is very personal for me, i know all my friends and family know we are not rolling in money and most people i know are in a similar situations. I would never normally consider posting this for all the world to see how desperate and broke we are, but today it is not about that. I am NOT broke (yet, the moment this is posted my car will break and i will be begging for money) i have $12!

On another but still positive (get it, my account is NOT negative) note it is OCTOBER! the best month of the year. this year i have a TON going on,

• a good, very dear friend of mine gets married. i am a bridesmaid and we are putting on a showers and party and fun (oh my)
• it's another friends' birthday and i have something fun up my sleeve for her
• i resolve to make a new apple or pumpkin recipe every day that i am home
• i have a dozen fall crafts for me and cecelia to make,
• kel and i are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary (yay)
• we have a trip to Indiana/Kentucky to visit some family (who i miss and love and can't wait to see)
• and FINALLY i get to go see a friend (the same one who has a birthday this month) down in St Louis who i STILL have not see her house after YEARS! this will be our first trip out of town without Cecelia the weekend after our 2nd anniversary for Kel and I! i'm pretty pumped!
• then it's halloween! yay! 

My final random note for the day is that i started  Christmas shopping! Now i HATE when Christmas pops up before Thanksgiving. I love the reason of Christmas but the whole season overall is just not my favorite. However this year i started planning gifts and ideas for people. I decided Kel and I were going to start buying gifts now when we had a spare twenty here or there. This past week i sold almost $100 of stuff on craigslist.com and i bought my mother-in-laws gift (part 1) and kel and i went out to eat and i bought a few other small gifts. I love the idea that we wont go broke this christmas. I love GIVING gifts and with my theory of starting early while we have the cash means i can actually give people the gifts i want. i am also making a lot of the gifts so i have gotten started on that too!




p.s. i might be proud of my $12 but if anyone needs a babysitter or knows of work, let me know!

you can be prepaired but not in control

i thought i was done and over the whole "allergy" bit, everyone knows my daughter has allergies and i sound like a broken record. yet every time i meet someone new in settings around food i have to be diligent about reminding everyone not to feed my kid.

i have spent months learning to cook and planning meals and trying to help us financially (because it's NOT cheap to feed your kid FRESH everything) handle this. For the first time in 5 months i finally had control. i had cooking and packing snacks fast and easy and one day a week. I had her meals planned and everyone she would be in daily contact with knows the drill. We were one month benedryl free. her skin is BEAUTIFUL and clear and FINALLY as smooth as a baby's butt should be.

Then i realized i can't ever relax or feel in control because i never will be. I can be prepared but never in control.

We got a pack of crayons out of my craft area and gave them to cecelia to use. she has a little table she sits at and paper to color on. she knew how to hold them and LOVED playing with them and hiding them all over our basement. I was really excited to open up the world of coloring and crafts (something i love to do too). For christmas we were going to ask for coloring books and markers for her.

For about a week she has had excema flair up. First it was on her face, then her chest and back and arms and legs. On Sunday we noticed it was really red and bigger blotches around her face. On monday we were business as usual... then tuesday she had her worst flair up since May. I was in the basement on the computer while she walked around (really she would run off, grab something to bring to me and once i grabbed it she would run off for something else). I turned around to check on her at one point and her mouth was black. I dug a 1/2 a crayon and the paper out of her mouth. we went upstairs to play. once we were upstairs her entire face turned blotchy (within a minute of me getting the crayon out of her mouth) her chest was read and she was scratching badly. After a week i finally knew what she was reacting to. She got benedryl and i started researching.

I am STILL VERY upset at the idea that i not only have to worry about my daughter eating a food that could kill her, but now i have to worry about her touching an art supply that could hurt her. And no i do not feel i am being over dramatic using the work "kill" or "harm." I had to explain to a friend the other that more kids die each year from food allergies than any form of cancer. It's more common than the flue and without treatment IMMEDIATELY will kill my child in uncontrolled situations. I my daughter were to eat a granola bar from a random package she would be exposed to minimum 2 possibly 4 of her major allergies and she would swell from the inside out. a donut could put her in hives for a week, which eventually can eat away at her skin from scratching and infection. I can not STAND it when people tell me i am overreacting about her allergies. i have spent months trying to figure out how to live without being a neurotic overbearing parent , if people can't handle my caution and awareness they will not be allowed near my child- tangent over!

Disclaimer- i ONLY buy Crayola crayons and markers. I think they are the best and my favorite.  They do not pay me to say this, it is all my opinion.

Crayons are soy free, since between 2001 and 2005. My crayons i am betting are from high school (i don't recall buying crayon since college or adult life) so they are between the transition time of soy free crayons and could possibly contain crayons. However my problem does not get solved by simply buying new crayons. It turns out ALL glue pre-maid (great now i have to make my own glue, fml) has oil in it that contains soy. the glue used to hold the paper onto crayons contains soy and possibly other unidentified allergens. So i looked online and with my dad's help found some crayons that are twist up and have no labels, therefor no glue. i also got a little case to put her supplies in so we can take it places easily. These crayons are twice as expensive and last half as long, but for my daughter it's worth it.

Then upon more research i may or may not have had a melt down about school supplies some day and future play dates.School supplies i can freak out about in 2-3 years, but play dates are something i am trying to do as often as possible. i DESPERATELY want to have playdates with other kids at places OTHER than my house, but it's SO scary. the thought that i would have to ask another parent to vacuum, sweep and mop, tidy and clean up any areas food is allowed in and now to HIDE all crayons and other activities makes me want to cry. then since cecelia is in everything the thought she could find a crumb hidden under the couch and eat it! SO STRESSFUL and that's just thinking about a playdate.

 the other day we had a play date and the girls sat and colored! She can't do that anymore. makers ALL contain soy so those aren't an option either. She tends to stab herself or others with pencils  so until she is older those are no good. Playdough requires oil- which MIGHT contain soy! The homemade kool-aid playdough contains soy (kool-aid, and most powdered drinks contain it). ink is ok, but SO messy and stains clothes and kiddos skin. paint is no good, but i am looking up how to make my own.

Since her art supplies are now TWICE as expensive as normal crafts it is for sure on her christmas list.

Life: Hacked!

Money is tight- i am pretty sure ALMOST every single person i know can honestly say this exact sentence about their family. SO i am sure that no person would pass up on a few life tips that I have found makes my life easier and SAVES ME MONEY! now these are all my opinions and if you have more ideas or things just didn't work for you let me know!

Trisha- you will LOVE this!

(Warning: lots of tangents, sorry if it's hard to follow)

CHILDREN HACKS:

 life with a kid is fun, messy, filled with laughter and always entertaining. i personally would prefer to spend my time playing with my kid and not trying to cook, clean or miss out on anything. I would also prefer to spend or save money for fun activities and other things... but alas children cost money/time and i am always trying to save a penny where i can when kids are involved!

1. MINI MUFFIN TINS!

    i mentioned this in a previous post, but they are a lifesaver with kids (and husbands who eat EVERYTHING in sight) around. i babysit whenever i can and having two little ones i ended up wasting a lot of food (they dump on the floor or shove in their pockets-gross- and refuse to eat perfectly yummy food because they are kids and that's what happens). i forget they eat much smaller portions (ok my daughter eats a ton, but not all at once, instead she eats 5 small meals and a couple small snacks not 3 adult portioned meals). I make a ton of different things and they are all itty bitty portions, perfect for kids ages 1-5 (update from previous post, thanks for the ideas, i have been baking a ton of different things and things are getting easier for meals). For meals would have 2-3 different "muffins" and no wasting food! snacks are just a quick muffin. the best part is one batch of things makes 24-55 muffins. that means i can cook once a week in my mini muffin tins and baggie for each day of that week and put the rest in baggies labeled and freeze them! this way if i get sick or lazy i have mini meals frozen for the future. Best part, is when kel comes home from work and eats EVERYTHING in sight he will grab a couple instead of the whole cake and it saves up money and time and food plus helps him not eat an entire cake! Here are 10 fun mini muffin ideas/variety of things you can make in mini muffin tins!
1. meatballs/ mini meat loaves- Turkey, chicken, beef, deer (this was the other day, actually really good) mixed with all sorts of seasonings and sauces.
2. mini pasta balls- pasta and a variety of sauces mixed in and baked mini muffin style. use an egg to bind thins together and this is perfect for hiding veggies in under the sauce.
3. veggie muffins- puree your veggies, add some flour (i use whole wheat flour and cornmeal usually) and bake. cecelia hate most veggies but will eat anything that looks like a muffin, FOR THE WIN!
4. actual muffins- bananas, pumpkin, apple, berry, whole wheat, cornbread (with a hot dog bit int eh middle and mini corn dogs- mind blown)
5. breakfast omelet (not for cecelia, but everyone else)- add your fav omelet ingredients, bake until fluffy and YUMMY! a ready to go breakfast all week that you can eat on the road with one hand
6. shredded potato muffins- i mash up potatoes, again hide some veggies, bake and YUM! also works with hash browns from the freezer an egg to bind them, cheese and veggies.
7. cobblers- enough said, great portion controlled desserts, eat two and be done
8. cupcakes- again portion controlled and yummy!
9.  mini pizzas- throw in some homemade pizza crust, cheese, pepperoni and sauce, or chicken and cheese and bbq sauce- bake and YUM
10. fruit snacks- i make homemade ones and use the muffin tins as molds, i grab one for cecelia and off we go. plus then it's fresh fruit and she can eat them guilt free

2.  play room-

    this seems like a "duh" and no brainer but you would be SO surprised how many people i know who don't have one set room that is COMPLETELY child proof (in every way) that they can have their kid go play and NOT be in the room with them AT ALL TIMES! ours is in the basement and now that she can walk and get my attention if needed verbally i can let her play while i go do laundry or take something upstairs and she is contained, entertained and unable to hurt herself. no TV or cords to play with, nothing she could fall off and hurt herself, and everything in large bins for easy clean up.  This saves time and about once a week i rearrange the bins ever so slightly and she thinks there are all new toys each week! less toys needed saves money and TIME- she can play and i can actually get something done instead of chasing her from all the death traps that are an ever present hazard!

3. well put together photo albums- 

   this seems stupid, and honestly a year ago i would have mocked me. but on hard days when cecelia is screaming or i am jealous of others people's seemingly perfect lives or just feeling beyond blessed i take a moment to open my wedding album, cecelia's scrapbook or photo book and look through. the hard times are so much easier when there are visual reminders of the best of times. If you don't have time to make one call me and i would LOVE to do it for you! At least once i day i have to look through pictures for one reason or another and they have helped me through the darkest time in my life. They are literally my light at the end of every tunnel. Yet i know SO MANY PEOPLE who don't have time, money or desire to put together a simple photo book! it's worth the couple of hours and $20! Cheap version if to put pictures in order on the computer for a slide show! Sign up for shutterfly and wait for a coupon then make one online for cheap(er). So much cheaper than a therapist when i am just an emotional (read as irrationally emotional) mess and need a pick me up. Plus less calories than the gallon of ice cream i'd otherwise eat (see below life hacks).

RE-USE your RECYCLE:

 stupid recyclables you would have normally thrown away, but instead i can clean them and reuse them easy peasy lemon squeezy (and save more than a quarter)!

1. empty toilet paper/paper towel rolls to keep your rolled up cords. 

   you wind up the cords, stick them through and grab them. laptop cords, cell phone chargers, etc- this was stolen from my mother-in-law and i LOVE the idea

2. gallon ice cream buckets- 

   i use one for cecelia's diapers that need rinsed (cloth diapering, fyi) to hide them and the smell. i use another one as my "mop" bucket. i keep one in the car for when i get sick (pregnancy 101). pretty much i could post 101 uses from rinsed out gallon ice cream buckets. Ice cream is SO WORTH buying it by the gallon! 

3. THIS ONE WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got it off The Chew, it's the ONLY daytime TV show i like or watch. So much fun and even my hubby likes to watch it. start DVRing it RIGHT now because it's worth an hour of my time everyday..... save an old ketchup, mustard or bbq sauce bottle to put pancake batter in for easy to pour pancakes! 

   YUP MIND BLOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best part is you can make your own from scratch allergy free pancake mix, put it in the bottle and leave it in the pantry then add milk/water, shake and pour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! try it, i swear pancakes will always be worth it after this!They actually make and advertise this exact thing for pancakes for $4 per container, vs having this yourself and it being 50cents each time you make a mix! plus you can make PERFECT pancakes every time without the stupid mess of pancake batter everywhere, minimum clean up is always better

4. wine bottles-

    spray paint and decorate your house! plus then you get to drink wine! and the corks have about 101 crafts you can do with wine bottles and corks! Where most recyclables look junky as decor (honestly i do NOT think it's classy to make a ghost out of a milk carton, kinda just gross and it's trash so put it in the trash) i feel like wine bottles done right can be classy. there are wine decor items made out of wine bottles that get expensive, so just DIY but do it right!

5. jelly jars= drinking glasses! buy the cute jelly in jelly jars and the glasses are prefect for kiddo drinking cups!

6. coffee creamer bottles-

   put your snacks in them (goldfish, cheerios, teddy grahams, trail mix, chex mix). they have the small creamers that are worth buying to reuse. not just for kid snacks, it fits in your purse or car cup holder. i keep one in the car for me, because there's not always food where i am going! (stick some of your mini muffin creations in there!)

7. assorted clear plastic bottles (vegetable or canola oil bottles, etc) for craft items- 

   Popsicle sticks, beads, string, ribbons, crayons, markers, etc! clear so you can see what they are and if they bust or get destroyed WHO CARES! and easy to pour the thing out without dumping them everywhere. 

8. cereal boxes- 

   magazine holders. cut the correctly and they wont be strong enough for a magazines but make things easy to sort bills and file papers or newspapers!

9. melted down glass candles and their lids- 

   ash trays. now i don't smoke or allow people to smoke around me, but i do use matches and this is where i put them. i use a large empty candle jar to hold my box of matches and a small one for used matches that are blown out.

long story short make things in mini muffin tins, organize your photos and toys, and recycle- but not until after you have used the old crap for something else! 

 oh the things you think of when you can't afford a stupid magazine holder for $10 or are sick of messed up weird shaped pancakes (seriously, BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE)!

hopefully i blew your mind at least once today! and shout out to my sister- happy birthday!

Hang in the balance

finding balance in life is hard to do, not to mention time consuming. i blogged about my awesome new schedule and part of the reason i like having life so scheduled is to keep it balanced. I have NO balance. after 13 years of dance classes and recitals and HUNDREDS of dollars spent by my parents i tripped over thin air and broke my leg (sadly that is a true story not just a metaphor).

My whole life has been spent trying to discover balance.

The balance i am struggling with is currently (ok one of many balance issues in life) nutrition. I am using the word nutrition and not diet because of the negative conotation behind the word diet. i am working on eating healthy and balancing the food groups, as well as getting my family to eat healthy and balanced. i have NO desire to cut sugar and chocolate and cheese sauce and pasta out of my life completely. i just would like to not eat them EVERY day and maybe just consume one serving not 4 at a time. Now for me i am doing okay at this, not great, not horrible just ok. i am working on improving and that's enough of a goal for now.

Kel is doing well, better than me but still room to improve. Since i cook the meals i have started cooking with less to no oils. i use as little processed food as possible and we are all SOY FREE around here (due to Cecelia's allergies). We have had 1 meal not made at home within the past 2 weeks (huge for use, we used to grab fast food as much as we could). Our food budget went form $100 a week to $30 a week. It's amazing and i actually am feeling good about my cooking abilities as well as the lifestyle change that has occured for our family.

i still have one very hard critic i can't seem to impress....

and the worst part is that there are no short cuts because of her allergies.

Cecelia doesn't like most veggies. in fact i can count on one hand how many veggies she will voluntarily eat. And this little girl eats ALL DAY LONG! she is such a bottomless pit. She also is picky about what foods she eats and when. For example she will only eat apples when we are out and about, if i give them to her at home she throws the AT ME! She cna't have ANYTHING with soy, soy lecthin, soybean oil, soybean extract or vegetable oil. that means nothing premade or packaged except fruit snacks. She also can't have egg white OR egg yolks (more people are allergic to one or the other, not both), peanuts, peas, veggies processed in a facility that processes peas, chickpeas or tree nuts.  overall cooking soy free/cecelia allergy free is easy. Zthe hard part is when we go out somewhere. i have to have natural yummy snacks she will eat that aren't messy and can handle being room tempurature, and ht eback ups for when she refuses to eat those. It's exhausting.

The worst part is, she is only like this for me. If i offer her an apple slice she will take it and throw is, if ANYONE ELSE ON EARTH offers her an apple slice she will eat it and smile at them. Kel thinks i am a liar about her food aversions. I'm not making this up. if he feeds her she waits until he looks away to dump it on the floor.

So i am resorting to hiding veggies in food to try to get my family to eat balances. Today i made squash muffins (sound gross i know). They taste SO good. I used half the recommended sugar and replaced it with spices and flavor. and they are made with whole wheat flour instead of white flour.
I also made pumpkin cornbread muffins... also delicious. Thanks to my sister's mini muffin tins i made them small and less messy for the little one. this way she can eat multiple throughout the day and munch on them without wasting half of the muffin. I will be buying my own set THIS WEEKEND!

My final issue with Cecelia's balanced nutrition is variety. She loves noodles and mac and cheese and one box of mac and cheese feeds her for 5 days. This means for 5 days that is all she gets for lunch. Her ususally daily diet looks like this...

Breakfast: blueberries + banana, applesauce and muffin
lunch: mac and cheese+ chicken or hot dog + sweet potatoe
dinner: eating off my plate (uncool babay girl, uncool) no matter what is on her plate
Snacks: string cheese, yogurt balls, homemade bread, fruit snacks, cheese cubes and apple slices

That is it, honestly i wish i was exagerating when i say she is confined to that list. i feel like a horrible mother by not branching out, but i don't know how to. We throw in whatever fruits are in season as much as we can. Veggies HAVE to be fresh because processed ones are non allergy safe.

 I need some ideas. I am desperate for easy, not too messy homemade recipes that are cheap, yummy and healthy. She refuses to let me feed her at all so it need to be finger foods. the hardest part, ALL Cecelia ALLERGY FREE.

HELP! 

 ANY RECIPE, IDEA, CONCEPT, SUGGESTION OR FUNNY JOKE WILL BE APPRECIATED. I AM ONE DESPERATE MOMMA TO BREAK UP THE MONOTONY OF HER DIET AND HELP HER LEARN TO LIKE FOOD MORE THAN BLUEBERRIES AND CHEESE.

lifehacks...

So i have been going a bit stir crazy the past few days. i wanted to walk but it was really hot, Cecelia is teething and got shots so having her in the heat is unbearable, and i have blisters in between 3 of my toes so walking hurts and i want to heal my feet before starting walking again so i have no more excuses!

My solution has been to decorate, organize and "lifehack" my life. I am pretty proud of the results. First was to get pictures hung up on the wall and set. I am HORRIBLE at this and things always end up crooked and awkward. So instead of taking credit i will give it all to my sister. she hung them all up and arranged them. but it looks nice and after 1.5 years living in the house it's nice to finally have pictures actually hung up on my wall.

Below are the pictures of my decorating. my goal is to be festive and inexpensive without looking cheap. And i am using fake flowers-i am highly allergic to a lot of real flowers, especially autumn ones (mums are the worst allergy i have). i found a way to make them smell amazing and make my house smell amazing.... ready for it.... it's a genus idea.... i take all my fall candles and leave the lids off or cracked and when i store the decorations for the rest of the year store them with the candles. so when i open the box everything smells like the candle! I have one box (clear storage boxes) with all my apple scented candles and some of my fall decorations and another box with all my pumpkin smelling candles and the rest of the decorations. careful mixing scents.... after 9 months in an airtight container mixed scents can be a horrible idea. But overall it's worked out very well for me a couple of years now, all my flowers smell fresh and yummy with my favorite scents, the candles are ready to light and i don't need to buy new flowers every week!

the photo wall in our living room. (yes we are watching Big Bang theory). i did the flower arrangements in two vases we got from a wedding shower that have an S and a K on them! excitied to have some fall decor to go with all the pictures!

this is the shelf kel put up on that wall too. I call it my "mantle" because we don't actually have a fireplace or traditional mantle. Check out all the fall decor on it. Plus it's the perfect place for our GIANT wedding album.

these are wine bottle that my Sister in Law helped me spray paint! The original idea (off Pinterest, you'll see all my little crafts were ideas i got from there) was to make them look like candy corn. i liked the idea of shading them but i wanted something that works past Halloween and until Christmas. i think the glittery darker colors make it more seasonal and less Halloween-ish.

Mr Gnome (i know, super original name) wanted to look pretty too. sparkly garland and the flowers a friend made for out wedding top it off! Plus i LOVE my coffee mug display case kel made!

more flowers from out wedding. i love putting them out! i just put a command hook on the inside of the cabinet and then hung the flowers on the outside so the hook doesn't show!

 So after decorating i started working on some simple things to make my house and life easier and cleaner. First i worked the budget and i have exactly $20 in the budget i could allow for home improvement items we normally would do without. First thing i got was a kooshy floor mat for the kitchen. i hate washing dishes because my feet and back hurt and i always slip on the water that inevitably spills. This was on sale plus a coupon and matched all my wine decor nicely.

not sure how to turn the picture around, but you can see the idea!

 Next is a stupid simple solution i saw on Pinterest and thought it's nice but unnecessary. then for $2 (with coupon on sale) i thought i'd give it a try. That and my friend did this and blogged about it and if she could do it then why the heck shouldn't i? It's a good idea, looks cuter than the big nasty bottle and makes me use less because it comes out slower!

my dish soap in an oil dispenser! much better than the jumbo sam's club size bottle falling in my sink 800 times a day!

this is a candle (apple scented) i got for $7 on sale and the holder was $5... then i had a $10 off $10 coupon so total i spent $4 (taxes-ugh). I HATE buying super expensive candles because i think it's a worthless expense yet i LOVE candles and how amazing they make my house smell so when i see them on sale i JUMP on it! I'm also super picky about scents (see floral allergies mentioned above) but i love getting them as gifts.... bad combo!

 

 

( For any friends wanting gift ideas i like pumpkin, apple, cinnamon and fruity smells, no florals! )

we got this off etsy and LOVE it! I'm so proud of our little family especially when it is becoming increasingly more popular to have a family without a mom AND a dad in the same family groups (not my favorite fad ever). i want people to know we are proud of our family and the traditional matter in which it was formed and this tells people how i feel when they walk in the door.

 Next i organized my kitchen. EVERYONE i know has a "jenga" cabinet! you know- the one with all the Tupperware that falls out every time you open it and no lids ever match the dish and cussing ensues when you are pressed for time to find the right size container with the correct lid.... you all know what i am talking about and are possibly shamefully blushing at the embarrassment that is your cabinet. i HAD one and then i got sick of it. Unlike most people i have SO MUCH cabinet space i have a hard time filling it. which means instead of being neat and tidy i throw things in the cabinets and can't ever find it again. Honestly my kitchen i like the "room of requirement" except not helpful or handy just messy (props to my friends that got the reference). My biggest issue is every time i steal/ take  am given food from my parents i end up keeping the dish (oops.... except their "jenga" cabinet is the worst and i know they have plenty of little dishes). 

I made a decision that-like pens without pen caps (stupid and wasteful, non clicky pens NEED a pen cap or are to be thrown out immediately!) -any dish without a lid is to be thrown out and a lid without a dish would also be thrown out. i played a matching game for 35 minutes until all dishes and lids were matched up and paired with similar dishes and lids. Magically only 2 dishes (both deformed by the dishwasher anyway and WAY old) and 4 lids were tossed. now things fit nicely and i even manage to consolidate 4 different cabinets into 1 (so not i have 4 empty cabinets, but i found ways to fill them productively, you'll see).

the result, all lids and dishes are to be put away TOGETHER or suffer their fate in the trash can. i LOVE having extra space. Plus now that my cabinet is full i need no more and have nowhere to put it all so i might start giving things back to my parents. i even fit all the baby dishes in here!

these two shelves ended up empty so i made one a "glass dishes" shelf and organized it and the other is where i put all of our baking/bread making supplies that WERE on my counter. it also keeps the spices easy access for cooking and cleared our pantry for other items. I am also very proud of my clear counters and fresh produce!

   Finally i did a SIMPLE activity that has already been a huge help and success for all of our allergies and sinus. i love fall, everything about it EXCEPT harvest season. my allergies go NUTS from August to november/the first frost. Every pollen on earth is exposed during harvest seasons and i get TONS of headaches and sinus infections and nasal issues. i saw this and thought i'd try it. It's baking soda discs that i added three common essential oils. Lavendar (helps relax your body and relive sinus pressure/headaches), eucalyptus (also helps relax and it clears out your nasal passages) and rosemarry (clears headaches and sinus plus helps dull down the intense smell of the other two scents). you make the discs, add the oils then throw one in your shower. the steam and hot water releases the scents and you breath pretty ALL day. i put on in Cecelia's tub and showered her last night and she was no longer snoring ans breathed clear all night. even her snotty nose this morning was running but not stuffed. Kel did one this morning and it worked great even helped him get up and relax.

So i've been TRYING to keep busy. If you have any ideas for things i should try out let me know. I really am enjoying my time off, and i like crafting and organizing (not cleaning but i have to do that either way), but i can't wait for someone to hire me. think of all the creative energy i can give back to a job!

Is there any "lifehack" you tried that worked or didn't work? Tell me about it!